For years, I felt like God reacted to my sin the way I react when people offend me, or sin against me. I assumed that every time I failed Him, I had to work my way back into His favor by offering Him gifts of time, a certain amount of apologies, and definitely some backbreaking service. I lived under the fear that His shoulder was cold to me until I could think of someway to soften His heart.
Voltaire said it well: "God has made man in His own image, and man has returned the favor." I expect God to react the way I do. And I become comfortable working around those boundaries I've invented for His character because I like to feel safe. I like to predict how someone will react, and I like to know what I'm walking into. It's the people-pleaser/hostess in me, but I don't like offending people, and I like to keep them fed, happy, and fat. In the past few months, God has been accosting me with this simple truth: He doesn't need me to keep Him fed, happy and fat. It sounds silly, but it is profound for me. He is not temperamental, and He cannot be manipulated by me. His love doesn't leak out in tiny drops that fall on the parched ground of my heart. His love breaks over me like the most powerful of waves, and it is an endless ocean, a tireless rhythm of love invading my consciousness ("deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls, all your breakers and your waves have gone over me" psalm 42:7). He wants us awake to who He really is, and He doesn't want to keep us guessing.
In our last meeting, we talked about how the glory of God first appears to the Israelites. This is literally the first time they've seen the God how just parted the Red Sea for them and closed it over their enemies. They lived for years under the Egyptians as slaves, and they thought the God of their fathers was silent, unfeeling, and powerless up until the time Moses steps into the scene. The lie that they served a dead God was about to be obliterated, and their hearts were spinning at the truth that not only was God alive, but He was THE GOD. This is their introduction to God: "Now Mount Sinai was all in smoke because the Lord descended upon it in fire; and its smoke ascended like the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mountain quaked violently. When the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder, Moses spoke and God answered him with thunder." (Exodus 19:18-19)
The Israelites no doubt had seen the Egyptians worshiping their numerous idols, and they thought they knew what a god was supposed to look like. Based on Moses' encounters with the religious leaders on Egypt who were also able to cause their staffs to turn into snakes, we know that they had a certain amount of demonic, counterfeit power. But I can guarantee it was nothing compared to the power the Israelites were seeing at Mount Sinai. A mountain shaking, a heavenly trumpet sounding, billowing smoke. And it was a bit much. They probably all took a step back and thought, an idol seems safer. No earthquakes, no smoke, nothing uncontrollable. And so they beg Moses, " speak to us yourself and we will listen, but let not God speak to us, or we will die"...so the people stood at a distance while Moses approached the thick cloud where God was." (Exodus 20:19,21)
Moses tries to convince the people that God is manifesting like He was so that the fear of the Lord would keep them from sin (this was pre-Holy Spirit, where He now works in us to bring about conviction of sin, aren't we glad for the Holy Spirit?), but the people still refuse. Fear robbed them of seeing God properly, and so as soon as Moses takes off for Sinai for 40 days to meet with God, the people launch into idolatry and immorality and make a huge mess of things.
When we don't see God properly, sin makes a mess of our lives. We are made to worship something, and we will prostrate ourselves before death-causing agents if we don't give our hearts to the Life-Giver.
I love that after God comes on the mountain in terrible fire, we see Him again in chapter 33, "thus the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend." If you continue to read that chapter, we see Moses begging God to show him His glory, and God does it, by hiding Moses away and causing all of His goodness to pass in front of him. (Exodus 33:19)
I find in this story the truth that when we take the brave step to walk in relationship with a God who cannot be contained, tamed, domesticated, owned, manipulated and controlled, we are invited into a friendship so sweet that Moses feasted off of it for 40 days, not even needing bread or water (Exodus 34:28). We see His goodness when we approach what we don't necessarily understand. God's not picky, and He doesn't play favorites. We all are invited into relationship with Him, but its only the brave ones who actually receive the life-giving, life-satisfying friendship our souls crave. You don't need to have life "in order" or be someone super spiritual or special to walk towards Him, you just need guts.
Today, let's search our hearts with the Spirit of God ("the spirit of man is the lamp of the Lord, searching all of his innermost parts" proverbs 20:27) and ask Him to point out the lies we are believing about Him that skew our view of Him. We can identify lies because they usually have to do with fear. Where are we afraid of God? Are we afraid His love will run out? His will involves our harm, or our punishment? Are we afraid that if we surrender everything to Him He will rob us of what we love most? Are we afraid that He will send disease and death to "bring us closer"?
His perfect love will cast out our fear, but He isn't going to intrude upon our hearts. We have to step forward, and risk our safety and comfort in order to enter into the safe place of His presence. The promise is that He will enter into friendship with us, like Jesus said in John 15:15, "I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn't confide in his slaves. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me."
The invitation to be a friend of God is real, and fresh, and has meaning for you today. Let's not miss out!
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